Which words best describe me?

Jazzyminn's Johari Window

Got this from Armi.

One Step At A Time

I want to share with you this story that truly inspired me.


THE FERN AND THE BAMBOO
One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo." He said.

"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me.

"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said.

"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet, they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high!"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."


-+--'=:!O!:='--+-


These past few months I've been contemplating on what to do with my career and on how to live my life to the fullest. I nearly went mad while considering these options:

Option #1: take my software career to the next level. (pros: it's interesting plus it's where the money is; cons: it's brain-draining and i will need years of experience)

Option #2: teach math, physics, or any EE course. (pros: i love math and i can teach; con: i need to be extra-hardworking to really earn)

Option #3: ditch engineering. master the piano then make a living out of it. (pro: i love music; cons: i will need years of practice and artists do starve unless they are popular)

Option #4: learn photography and interior design then make a living out of it. (pro: i love arts; cons: same as option #3 plus i will need a lumpsome of funds and there are no interior design courses offered here in the Phils.)


Finally I decided that I need to make a living out of option #1 and just make a hobby out of options #3 and #4 (thanks to Rohel's counseling). Then I may eventually put up a business so I can have the luxury of quality time. As of now I have planned on taking things one step at a time:

Upgrade #1: It's official. My resignation is effective on the 28th of February. I've already updated my resume (as Armi adviced) and applied to companies with interesting job descriptions for the position of software/firmware engineer.

Upgrade #2: I'll be taking a formal one-month training in C++ Programming this March in the Meralco Foundation Institute. And while I'm staying at home unemployed I will study analog/digital circuits/devices, review my Visual Basic programming skills, and continue my neglected piano practices. I'm dead serious.

Upgrade #3: I plan on taking another short-course at MFI, probably a Java programming or a Programmable Logic Controller course.


There. I have finally steered the wheel of my life into the direction I currently want to take (of course it may still change with time).

mood: inspired

Pics! Pics!

hehe... finally!




more on flicker...

A Dream Worth Keeping

A Dream Worth Keeping
by Sheena Easton

Anytime you want to be right here
Just imagine me and all this will appear
You can keep this moment all your life forever near
A dream worth keeping

When you're feeling lost I'll be your star
Just reach out and touch me no matter where you are
In a world where precious things are disappearing overnight
Just keep my star in sight...

I believe we found a dream that's worth keeping
For more than just a day
And eventhough the winds of change may come sweeping
It's still a dream worth keeping
Don't let it fade away...

Maybe you'll be in some distant land
Feeling all alone but I'll be close at hand
And everytime you see a rainbow paint the sky behind the rain
You'll be here again...

I believe we found a dream that's woth keeping
For more than just a day
And eventhough the winds of change may come sweeping
It's still a dream worth keeping
So don't let it fade away...

Someday you might be thinking
Life has passed you by
Your spirits might be sinking
With hope in short supply
That's the reason why
That's the reason why...

I know this dream's worth keeping
As long as it will stay
And even when you see the darknees come creeping
A dream worth keeping
Can never fade away...

First Times

First Time #1

Three Saturdays ago I was in LB for the first time this year. It was nice to see again the friends I knew since Highschool and College. Sobrang sabik ako sa outing and get-togethers, sana sa summer magkita-kits ulit! It was nice seeing Mark, Han and baby Sam healthier and stronger than ever. =) (Teka lang dapat i-u-upload ko na yung pics ng dedication ni Sam ngayon, pero ibang baby sam pics pala ang nai-burn ko! Sorry guys next week na lang ulit, dial-up lang kasi sa bahay eh...)


First Time #2

Two Sundays ago I was in EK with my family for the FIRST TIME. Todo kapit ako sa Jungle Log eh, waaaa... katakot yung second fall kasi kita mo kung gaano kataas at ka-steep yung incline so anticipated mo na. Buti na lang hindi sumakay si mama. Grabe pagbagsak namin biglang may nag-flash... I had the most embarrassing candid shot ever! Si bibs naman mukhang constipated, hindi namin akalain eh nagvolunteer pa siya sa unahan. Hehehe... natatawa pa rin ako sa itsura namin pag naaalala ko. Sayang nga lang at hindi namin kinuha yung pic, pano ba naman p200?! Sa Rio Grande lang kaming pito nagkasya sa isang ride. Basang-basa kami ni nica tumutulo pa damit namin pagkatapos, pero ako mula baywang lang, si nica talaga mula ulo kasi sa kanila pa ni biboy tumapat yung falls! Hehehe... daya talaga ni papa at cedie halos hindi sila nabasa. Yung Space Shuttle ang grabe, kakalula yung 60-degree head-first plunge! Nung reverse naman kakatakot yung upward half-circle loop parang bibigay yung harness feeling mo mahuhulog ka. Kaming tatlo lang ni kuya at nica ang sumakay dun, last time kasi nag-Viking kami sa Star City nanigas sa lula si biboy. Ang saya talaga kuhanan ng picture si bibs, hehe =p. Hay... sobrang enjoy kaming lahat, stress-reliever talaga though hindi ako nakapasok the next day sa sobrang pagod. =b


First Time #3

I had my first voice recital last Sunday. I performed "A Dream Worth Keeping", a soundtrack from the animation "Ferngully: The Last Rainforest". The audience was just a small group of people but nothing made me increasingly conscious and nervous than the thought of my entire family being there. I guess they were the ones I wanted to please the most and I knew that it wouldn't be easy because they (especially Papa) are the most perfectionist classical musicians I've known. But in the end I just can't explain how good it feels when people start smiling and applauding at you as though you have performed that well. Wee... =)

mood: breathless

Time Is Up!

Did you know I got suspended last December due to habitual tardiness? hehehe... Pero ayos lang, ang saya nga eh they gave me six Saturdays off 'til Jan 28 coz they can't afford to lose me for one week =P. Is it my fault that Cavite is so far away from Pacita and that I leave on Mondays at 6am in the morning already because it's the first trip when riding the van which takes the shortest route from Pacita to Pala-pala? Is it my fault that I can't make sure that the water I save every night is still there whenever I wake up because there are 12 occupants in my apartment (some of them are on variable shifts) and what comes out of the faucet in the mornings is 90% air and 10% water by volume compared to 40% air and 60% water (with impurities) in the evenings? And now they're asking me to come to Cavite on Sundays when I only get to come home on Saturdays or leave at 5am during Mondays and take two jeepney rides for a longer route from Pacita to Pala-pala?! Oh c'mon they must have been kidding me... waking up at 5am and riding one smoke-belching jeepney from Pala-pala to Tejero is enough to intoxicate my lungs with carbon monoxide and ruin my aura on Monday mornings!

The truth is, kakatamad na talaga magwork dito kaya siguro lagi akong late. Kasi naman, four (4) times nang pinapalitan yung colored LCD namin since May last year and until now we still don't know which one we'll be using. So everytime they give us a new one we have to rework every code we made starting from the driver, up to every block of function needed for the display but make sure the old ones are still updated. Argh! And they couldn't even provide me with a decent computer and a full-version compiler! My Windows 2K SERVER computer with only 128MB RAM takes 5 minutes to boot (crag-crag-toot!) and the Metroworks Codewarrior compiler keeps on saying "code size limit exceeded!" Hey I've already commented out the communications part leaving only the menu and display functions! Puno na nga ng "#ifdef" at "#endif" yung .c and .h files namin eh.

I don't know how I've managed to stay here for a year with an uncomfortable lifestyle, belittling compensation (buti na lang at mababa rin ang cost of living dito) and unpalatable food (believe me daig ng canteen dito ang dorm food nung hayskul! and the trays... oh nevermind!). "Magtiis, magtiis... ganyan talaga sa simula" as my father always say everytime I start ranting at home at how low this company has treated me. Kakainis talaga, wala manlang training, walang recognition, o kahit manlang financial motivation! At least I can be proud that I have learned everything I know here all by myself. I keep telling myself I just need the experience, a year would be fine. And now that the time is up I'm resigning! Salamat na lang talaga at R&D ito at maganda ang resume ko =) Dami ko rin namang naaccomplish... Renegade, Diablo II, The Fifth Disciple, at sangkatutak na flash games! hehehe... Sayang nga lang at hindi kaya ng videocard ko ang Need4Speed Underground II at iba pang 3D games. hmp!

mood: excited

Come back down

Love this song of Lifehouse.

Long time no blog... sorry but this company really sucks BIG TIME! Since November of last year we were deprived of internet access. We only get to access the net when we have the chance to modify our IP addresses during OTs. We use the IPs authorized by SIT (the department heads') and a computer description such as "catch me if you can". hehe =P. Then it was announced yesterday that OTs aren't allowed anymore so we've come up with a better strategy... using analogx and proxyway to access the net through the R&D's Mechanical and PCB team heads' computer! haha =D

Anyway, it's my 1st year anniversary here at Maxon and all I got today is 500 bucks which is only a fraction of my salary supposedly due the 15th of this month! How insulting is that?

Oh and one more thing... I woke up this morning learning that I've lost more (keypad number 3 previously down) of my cellphone's keypads: numbers 4, 5 and 6. hehehe... I'm temporarily txtnonstop-paralyzed.

Life is good... nevermind Happy Anniversary to me. Happy New Year to all! =)

mood: frustrated